Paris Shopping: 10 Tips for Buying and Wearing French Lingerie

Paris Shopping:  10 Tips for Buying and Wearing French Lingerie

1.  Avoid department store dressing rooms like the self-esteem-killing zones that they are.  Fluorescent lighting makes everyone look a bit scary.  Opt instead to NOT try them on in the store, but make sure they have a lenient return policy.  Many stores will not allow you to return panties, so skip these stores if possible.

2.  Go to small lingerie stores that have a knowledgable staff, low lighting and preferably champagne or wine (amazing how much better we all look after a drink or two).  Let them recommend styles that look best with your body shape, and be honest about your concern areas.  The best Paris shopping professionals will not tell you how great you look in everything you try on, but will help you mask the areas that make you feel a little self-conscious.

3.  Be clear on “the purpose” of this ensemble.  If it’s something you want to be able to wear under tight-fitting clothes, opt for seamless lines with proper support.  If it’s seduction you’re after, go for all the bells and whistles, like ribbon ties,  lace and frills, or dangling rhinestones.  I recommend buying a silk robe to wear over your ensemble for nights of seduction, because I find that there is always that awkward moment when you try to figure out how to change into your sexy underwear.  Do you reveal it when undressing, which doesn’t really work when there are lots of frilly attachments to catch on your clothes?  Do you go into the bathroom and change when things start to heat up, killing the mood somewhat?  Changing into your sexy underthings with a silk robe over them (yes, it must be silk and not flannel or Patagonia microfiber, heaven forbid) gives you a nonchalant way to maintain the mystery, yet set the mood.

4.  When trying on lingerie, pointedly focus your eye on the parts of your body that you (or your man) love.  Ignore all the rest (as he will).  A critical eye and mind are seduction killers that can only be obliterated with confidence and self-satisfaction.  Fabulous lingerie can only take you so far if you wear it under a cloak of embarrassment and self-criticism.

5.  A saleswoman at Sabbia Rosa, one of Paris’s most exclusive lingerie shops, once told me that French men prefer white or ivory lingerie because it makes the woman appear “pure and virginal.”  When choosing a color, make sure you can live up to the impression you are creating.  Seductions have a personality, be it femme fatale, coquette, virgin bride, or dominatrix.  Choose your lingerie accordingly.

6.  Sometimes you want lingerie that simply makes your clothing look better.  The one mistake I see over and over again with women in the States is not pulling the bra straps tight enough, thereby creating a sagging effect that lowers the breasts over the rib cage.  One of the first things a professional salesperson who knows how to fit a bra will do is literally yank those straps as tight as possible.  If the band and cup sizes are right, then the bra will not inch up.  I rarely see bras in Paris, like I do in the States, that are built without a shelf-like support system, which does not allow for sagging.  Indeed, this focus on pushing the breasts up-and-out in a natural, yet enhancing, way starts with French girls’ first “training bra.”  Compare this popular French training bra with those we all had as young girls, and you’ll immediately understand what I’m talking about.

7.  French women are known to match their sexy panties and bras ALWAYS and to wear, what we consider, “special” lingerie on a daily basis.  A simple way to implement this is to never shop for an everyday bra and a pack of panties.  Never.  It’s a major mental shift for some of us who view lingerie as utilitarian and practical to the point of afterthought.  But to Flirt Like a French Girl means to have a secret caché of sexiness that you can reveal at any moment.  It is not only to pay attention to aesthetic details, but to revel in them as an outer sensual expression of an inner adherence to a personal code of unapologetic self-gratification.  Everyday bras and interchangeable, dull panties are the plain dishes we use daily, while our lovely china sits unused, waiting for the proper and all-too-rare occasion.  When we dull ourselves down to accepting “everyday” vs. “special,” we lose the opportunity to embrace pleasure in small daily activities and instead compartmentalize our sexiness and sensuality into specific time frames.

8.  It is estimated that French women spend 20% of their annual clothing income on lingerie.  This is, most importantly, an every-year annual expenditure, not a once-in-a-lifetime or once-a-decade shopping spree.  Just as French women do not own any grungy, “headed to the grocery store”-type clothing, there is also no ratty, old-and-tired lingerie within hand’s reach.  Lingerie is not allowed to fray beyond recognition, lose it shape to the point of pointlessness, and fade into a gray oblivion from its once pristine whiteness.  We all know when a pair of shoes are past their prime, yet we seem to accept the wearing of lingerie that no longer shapes and supports us.  Consider anything over a year old that has been worn frequently and for long periods of the day as past its shelf life and replace quickly.

9.  Contrary to the media stereotype of all French women being thin and perfectly proportioned, many French women do indeed come in larger shapes and sizes.  While large breasts are relatively rare here, due to less women having breast augmentation surgery, there are still French women who would be considered by any standard to be heavy-set or simply carrying a few extra pounds that they would prefer to mask.  This is why every pharmacy and lingerie boutique sells control-top hose and body shapers in different “strengths.”  Yet, even for these practical items, French companies have found ways to make them exceedingly sexy, like Wolford’s Shape and Control collection.  For an easy way to introduce shapewear into your daily routine, replace your opaque black tights (you’re wearing those all the times like the French girls do, right?) with ones that have a push-up effect and control top.  Wolford makes some of the best, and they make a huge difference in reshaping your contours.  Why do they make them in extra-small and small, you might ask? Because even thin people wear them to control jiggle and enhance their curves.

10.  While French women wear lingerie everyday that is, by most standards, finer than what most Americans wear on special occasions, they do also have investment pieces.  These are items that are profoundly expensive due to the quality of the materials and limited production, but can be worn for years and never lose their timeless and classic essence. For me, Sabbia Rosa chemises and nightgowns exemplify French glamour, with their handmade lace and lush silks.  The arrogance of all the designs being one-size-fits-all seems aptly French too, as if to say, “Why wear a style that really doesn’t look good on you?”  One of the major transitions I made after moving here was to discipline myself into wearing a Sabbia Rosa nightgown to bed each night, instead of throwing on a discarded t-shirt with some sports-team logo that I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing in public.  I challenged myself to wear it even when I was alone in bed, and that profound shift in what I wore to sleep changed my view on what I wore beneath my clothes during the day.  Might I suggest that this is where you begin too?